What Does “Sexy” Mean to You?

Without a doubt, when women begin to consider having boudoir photos done the word “sexy” inevitably crosses their mind. Are they sexy enough to justify taking these photos? Will they be able to pull off a sexy pose or sexy facial expression? Clients who will be giving these photos to a loved one have now and then expressed worry to me that their significant other will find the photos so unexpected as to be funny, rather than “sexy.” Heck, even the tagline on my website states, “You’re Sexier Than You Know.”

But what does that word mean, really? Is it a certain height, weight, body mass index, cup size? A certain eye or hair color?

Well, I can’t define it for you. BUT, I can encourage you to think outside the societal box, to think outside the archetype. Because I’ve been photographing women for almost 20 years now, and my idea of “sexy” is something very different than those physical traits. In fact, I rather consider myself a “pro” on the definition of sexy, because I absolutely know it when I see it shining through in a beautiful shot I’ve taken of a client.

To me, sexy is:

Sense of humor
Being in love (with others, with yourself, with life)
Comfort in your skin no matter your shape
Acceptance (most especially of yourself!)
Willingness and courage
And did I mention enthusiasm? That’s a big one to me.

Sexy is not necessarily a perfect or young body, by any means. I’ve had middle-aged, round-bodied (sometimes very round) women create some of the hottest photos I’ve ever shot, because they accepted their bodies, knew that the significant other in their life accepted and loved their bodies too, and laughed and played their way through the photo shoot, which created a lustfulness that showed in every shot. This is not to say that a strong, fit, thin and healthy body is not sexy. Of course it is! Especially when that body is a product of it’s owner’s own love of fitness, health, and strength, and represents the love and care they’ve taken for their body.

As for the woman in the photo above, that I used to illustrate this post, well, yeah, as a matter of fact she does have a pretty rockin’ face and bod. And after I reviewed this post I thought, well wait a minute, Lori, why did you chose that particular photo? Why didn’t I grab a photo of a woman perhaps a little older, a little rounder. But I realized that when I was looking for an image to use here, what caught me in this one was her laughter. I think I snapped this shot in mid-conversation when something had made her smile and giggle. THAT’S what I noticed first about this photo and what brings my eye to her face every time. It’s her expression that makes makes me love this image and want to hang out with this person.

All of this to say, sexiness comes from WITHIN, ladies!  Show me your genuine smile. Show me your laughter. Show me your playfulness. Show me your wickedness, your devilry, your HONESTY.

And I’ll show you one freaking hot woman looking back at you from your photos.



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